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JEFF BEZOS and Sweetheart LAUREN SANCHEZ HAVE A PEC-OFF ON THEIR NEW $500 MILLION YACHT

The Awful Kid of Online Retail, Jeff Bezos, and his sweetheart, Lauren Sanchez (who is otherwise called Tony Gonzalez's child mother), were spotted Tuesday on board the tycoon's fresh out of the plastic new $500 million, 417-foot superyacht in Mallorca, Spain getting ready to set off on the boat's first venture.

How about we simply say Jeff, 59, seems prepared to have one of the most incredible summers of his existence with Lauren, 53, as they do what new boat proprietors do:

Tell every one of their companions they own a boat and how their companions ought to come visit.
Whine about the cost of gas to drive the new boat.
Try to make every one of their companions drifting wisecracks, for example, “Boats are like strippers, they work until you quit tossing $100 notes at them.”
Gloat on Facebook pretty much every one of the cool spots they've been in the boat.

One thing is clear about these new boat proprietors — they will be scarcely dressed consistently and you can't fault Jeff the slightest bit for ripping off the shirt and showing Lauren that he's a destroyed machine at almost 60 years of age.

The skeptics will say that Jeff has been raising a ruckus around town and development chemicals while attempting to deny the maturing system.

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